i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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