I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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