like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
