I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
