And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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