Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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