I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize