I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
