The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
organizing the empties. That sober.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
