that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
