so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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