People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize