theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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