After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I want is dick and wine.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
