What a fucking waste of an outfit
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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