is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Acid is not a monday night drug
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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