bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
