Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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