The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
