my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
did you just send me my own nude
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
