i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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