doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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