she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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