What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't think brook has ever known best
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
