Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can tuck mytits in my pants
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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