she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
