I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
