I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Randomize
