So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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