Sorry, I don't speak sober.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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