I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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