Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
