We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How external is "for external use only"?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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