Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
