bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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