these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize