I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
