Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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