whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she woke up with a sticky ear
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
