I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
