So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
