are you still at the devil's house?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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