i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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