I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
