i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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