They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
