Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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