Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
