i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
