i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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