Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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