i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
