This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
