SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
