What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
