My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
