Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize