i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm eating all of the evidence.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
