Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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