It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He felt like a one man threesome
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
