So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
