I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
