apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
