i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
