..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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