The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
