she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize