I'm really into asian looking animals
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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