I will die if light touches me.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
