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i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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