My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
