If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Fuck appropriateness.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
