I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
