Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
