No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
