did you get engaged???
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
