Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
