i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize