What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize