i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
