just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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