Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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