Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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