i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
