Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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