Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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