woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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